Smoking High, Sneaking Low
by Roxius
Summary: After murdering Milly with a toothbrush out of a fit of rage, Rivalz attempts to hide his crime by killing any who he comes across. All he wants, after all, is a normal life. Black Comedy, I suppose. Crack fic.


Disclaimer: I do not own Code Geass.

A/N: What the hell?! A spork?! Seriously..?! Rivalz can turn anything into a weapon!!!!

This is kinda dark humor, I think...

By the way, why the hell isn't Kallen at least punished a bit or something for all the people she's killed? Crazy bitch...I mean, Lelouch is forgiven, but Kallen... :/ wut?

* * *

Rivalz Cardemonde didn't know why he did it. He hadn't meant to kill her. He really didn't. As he ran down the hallway, his school uniform stained in wet blood, a light-green toothbrush held tightly in his fist, he fought the urge to scream.

Hot tears rolled down his face as he continued to run, and he felt like his lungs were on fire. His legs ached, and bile rose up in his throat. His eyesight became blurry. His head was pounding. The entire room was beginning to spin...

Rivalz fell to his knees, unable to take another step. He glared hatefully at the blood-covered toothbrush he held, and tossed it across the floor out of disgust. His face, his hands, his shirt, his pants, his hair...it was all stained with the spilt blood of an innocent woman. The blood of Milly Ashford, to be exact.

'Why...why did I do that? I just lost it and...and...oh god...I...I killed her with a toothbrush!!' Rivalz thought, clutching his head.

Trying to understand his own reasons for committing such a horrible deed, Rivalz thought back to only moments ago...

* * *

_Rivalz was playing his PSP once again, when Milly suddenly came up to him with a peeved look on her face._

_"RIVALZ!!!"_

_Rivalz cried out, and quickly hid his PSP. "W-What is it, student council president?"_

_"It's your turn to clean the bathroom stalls," Milly told him, handing him a toothbrush._

_"Aww...do I have to?" Rivalz groaned._

_"YES!" Milly snapped, "NOW DO IT!!!"_

_Milly then spun around, and began to walk away...when a dark, demonic-like shadow sprung up from behind, wieling the toothbrush like a knife. It was Rivalz._

_Milly barely had enough time to react, when the toothbrush was jammed right into her eye socket..._

* * *

Rivalz tried to hold it in, but he knelt down and vomited all over the floor, recalling Milly's corpse after he had killed her.

'I killed her, that is undeniable...but, I can't let myself be arrested! I...I want to live a normal life...I can't...I can't go to jail...' Rivalz thought as he struggled to a stand, 'I...I want to grow up and have a family, not be forced to live in a tiny little cell and be raped every three days by my taco-loving, sexually-confused Italian cellmate!!! I...I want to be happy!!!'

That was when he realized Nina Einstein was now standing at the end of the hall, her hands over her mouth and her books lying at her feet. Her entire face was as white as a sheet; her body shook violently with shivers. She didn't seem to have even the will to move, due to her intense fear.

Rivalz took advantage of that. 'I WANT TO LIVE...A NORMAL LIFE!!!'

With an amazing burst of speed, Rivalz charged straight at Nina, who finally began to start screaming. However, Rivalz quickly smashed his palm against her mouth, silencing her. Then, he swung her down to the ground, and used his other hand to clench tightly around her throat.

As the blood in his hair dripped down onto Nina's pale face, Rivalz hissed, "Sorry, but...I won't...I can't let you live..."

Nina tried to scream again, but her words were muffled. Suddenly, before Rivalz could proceed to snap her neck, he heard shouts coming closer and closer, from around the bend.

'FUCK!! They must have found Milly's body!!' Rivalz realized, 'I need to get rid of Nina quickly, and then escape!'

Looking around, an idea popped into Rivalz's head the moment he saw the large stained-glass windows that lined the left side of the hallway, allowing one to look out at the magnificent garden below. Without a care, Rivalz lifted Nina up, and simply tossed her out the window.

Wiping the dust off his hands, he smirked and thought, 'Heh...now that's a job well done! ...WAIT, I'M NOT SUPPOSED TO BE PROUD!!! I...I JUST KILLED ANOTHER PERSON!!!! AUUUUUUUUUUUUUGH!!!!'

Three people stepped out from behind the corner, and gasped in unison upon seeing Rivalz; it was Lelouch, Kallen and Shirley.

Rivalz cursed his luck. 'I must live a normal life...I must be happy...SO THAT MEANS THAT I MUST KILL!!!'

Unsheathing a spork he was carrying randomly in his pocket, Rivalz ran straight at his newest victims, screaming like a madman...and he thrust the spork into Lelouch's chest...

* * *

The deed was done. His spork had snapped halfway through the massacre, yet Rivalz kept going, tearing through people like they were water. Sitting down on top of one of the dead bodies, Rivalz let out a heavy sigh.

'It's times like this that make me wish I was a smoker...' he thought. Lying in front of him was a mountain of corpses; after murdering Lelouch and the others, the school called in an entire special forces squad to capture Rivalz. Unfortunately, this attempt ended in every soldier meeting a violent demise. Rivalz's desire to live normal and happily drove him to kill anyone who stood in his way, no matter how big or how small or how old or how young.

'I will...kill them all...' Rivalz decided.

Suddenly, the roof collapsed, crushing hundreds of corpses below, sending a wave of blood splashing over Rivalz, completely drenching him in the crimson liquid. Two large Knightmare Frames came flying down from the skies, and aimed their machine guns directly at a rather startled Rivalz.

'Shiiiiiiiiiit...'

The moment the bullets began to fly, Rivalz did a flip backwards, and snatched up a shotgun from one of the dead soldiers. Rivalz fired the shotgun, but cursed under his breath when he saw it had no effect.

'How do I beat these things...?' he wondered.

The other Knightmare Frame brandished a large sword, and swung at Rivalz's head. Leaping downwards, Rivalz quickly began to crawl across the sea of corpses, trying to reach the window he had tossed Nina out of only a few hours ago.

'Maybe...' he thought, 'I can jump out...and if I survive, I'll run like hell!!!'

However, after only crawling for about a foot, the sword's tip tore right into Rivalz's back, skewering him. A puddle of blood formed under the poor boy's body. He could feel his guts pouring out. Everything was turning white this time...

'Oh...fuck...I'm...I'm done for...'

The Knightmare Frame lifted Rivalz high in the air, and shook his body around several times before dropping him rather carelessly to the floor.

Rivalz was dead.


End file.
